Unit 3 - My Current State of Being Rated

Per my instructor’s assignment, I took a few moments to reflect on my own psychological, physical, and spiritual health at the present moment. This is what I have decided.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the healthiest level), I rate myself an 8 on psychological wellness, because I feel that I have good coping skills to handle what life has thrown at me thus far and, therefore, manage my stress fairly well. I also feel that I am a genuinely happy person most of the time. I did not rate myself higher than that, because I do find myself worrying needlessly at times. My goal is to continue to improve my skills of self-reflection and relaxation in the midst of chaos. I was an emergency room nurse and intensive care nurse, and I learned that it is important to be able to know how to keep anxiety at bay when chaos is all around. The activities that I do to maintain a low level of stress and to maintain control of my own anxiety is consciously choosing what thoughts to allow and what not. It is like continual meditation on the moment and not allowing worry of what could happen (whether rational or not) to take over my thoughts.

On the same scale, my physical health is a 5. Two months ago, I would have rated myself an 8, but I have not been to the gym in about two months. Now I feel tired, lazy, achy, flabby, weak, and, at this very moment, very stiff. I strained my back yesterday doing absolutely nothing. I didn't rate myself any lower than 5, because I am generally in good health. I’m at a healthy weight and do not have any comorbidities like diabetes, dyslipidemia, or hypertension. My goal is to get back to the gym as soon as my strained back says so…maybe in about 7 days.

My spiritual health is currently a 5. I consider myself a Christian. I try to treat others and live my life the way Jesus teaches we should, and I pray several times per day. I did not rate higher, because I have felt disconnected from the church lately. I haven’t made going to church or reading my Bible a priority for the last couple of months. I would like to feel that connection with God that I once had. My goal is to read my Bible after lunch each day and start going back to church starting next weekend.

The audio relaxation exercise this week involved guided imagery and progressive relaxation. Last week, while trying to do my exercise, I had a house full of chaos and people. This week, it’s just my husband and I at home. He is on a jog, so this is a perfect time for me to relax. I started off by getting comfortable on my bed with my ice pack to my strained lower back. Anyone who has strained their back knows that movement does not come easy. I started the audio then realized that my bra was tight and distracting, so I got back up with much difficulty, took it off and layed back down with much difficulty. O.K. now I’m ready. Audio back on. As the guide spoke, I felt like my muscles were relaxing but I still felt tense inside. Throughout the exercise I continued to attempt full relaxation. Then I hear keys dangling, doors slamming, feet stomping through the house, more doors slamming. I think to myself, “This is very distracting and not very relaxing.” My husband is stomping through the house and slamming doors looking for me. He’s not angry, just loud. Then I hear his feet come to my bedroom door and stop. I try to ignore him thinking that I can get back to relaxing and he will realize what I’m doing and quietly leave. No, he stays. I open my eyes. I tell him that it is difficult to concentrate on my homework with him just standing there looking at me. He says, “I’m just trying to figure out what you’re doing”. He leaves and leaves the smell of his sweat from jogging lingering in my room…another distraction. Overall, I felt the experience was relaxing, and that all the distractions tell me that I’m not very good at meditation.